Merman archive November - December 2008
November/December Merman Question
Dear Merman,
The workplace offers many temptations for married men in the form of short skirts, stylish haircuts, perfume, and women with smarts. What's the best way for a married man to stay on track in that environment?
Signed,
A Concerned Short Skirted Woman
Dear Short Skirted Woman:
This requires two answers depending upon:
1) Are you one of the short skirted, stylish haired, perfumed, smart women in the workplace being bothered by a married man? If so, this answer is for you.
There is no excuse, and I repeat, no excuse for a man, married or otherwise to be getting off track in the office with his sexual pursuits. That went out with the two martini lunches! If you are being bothered by a particular man, ask him if he has read and memorized your company's sexual harassment policy. If not suggest he do so unless he wants to have a problem. (Then be sure to document this exchange with your friendly HR professional.) Most companies now days have or should have zero tolerance for sexual harassment! If the man is your direct supervisor go to the HR person first.
There is no excuse for unwanted sexual advances in the workplace no matter what you choose to wear, however you can help. If you are smart you are not wearing short skirts and too much perfume. Be professional and go classy conservative. Rely on you smarts to get ahead not your sex-appeal. Be sure to dress professionally, not provocatively. The key is to be professional in your attire and appearance. That will deter most men and let everyone know you are there to conduct business not hanky panky!
2) Are you are writing because you are concerned about your particular man being distracted in the work place? This answer is for you.
The answer easily applies to men and women – relationships in general. The best way for anyone to "stay on track" in the workplace is for their significant other to help them. Men are extremely easy to keep happy (way easier than you probably think) and as much as life together and love is a two way street if both partners do their job and keep each other satisfied there is far less chance that a stray skirt will turn more than his head.
Ostensibly men and women get married so they will have reliable companionship. Why do men and women seek companionship elsewhere? Because they aren't getting companionship in their primary relationship. Let's face it; a starving human is far more likely to consume any food in sight than one that is well fed. Relationships are the same way. ‘Feed' your partner and yes you will have him ‘eating out of your flipper!' Just make sure to give him the things he needs, not what you think he should have. As with any relationship that requires real giving, putting the other person ahead of yourself. It doesn't have to be false. In return, he will also ‘feed' you what you need.
A little T.L.C. at home will make the risk at work not worth the temptation. Not only that, real men have recognized women in the work place for their smarts, not their skirts!
Just remember, he is human and so are you, and a pretty girl is a pretty girl and as hard as we try to suppress ourselves….we look. For most, infidelity probably starts not with an actual affair but more likely with other problems in a relationship – that makes infidelity a result and symptom rather than the cause of marital problems.
Statistically many men and women have affairs…keep giving to each other and you won't become a statistic. And remember mermen – this street runs both ways!!!!
Respectfully,
THE "Merman"
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